I’ve never been this me before. I remember the morning this realization hit me. I was driving on mental ‘auto-pilot,’ letting my car’s GPS lead the way to a coffee rendezvous with a woman I had arranged to interview for this book. As I drove, I pondered how I got here; to this place of writing “Who Am I Now?” As I turned into the parking lot, the Universe whispered the answer into my consciousness. Distinctly I heard, “Girl, you’ve never known at first. But each and every time, you created YOU. And you turned out precisely as you should for that time in your history. History, HER-story, YOUR story. You wrote it.” I’m not sure what was the most surprising or the most unsettling – realizing the truth of that statement, the awareness of how many times in my life this has already happened, or the tenor of the mellow voice of the Universe piped inside my head. Is Morgan Freeman doing voice-over work for the Universe? Startled, I began rewinding my memory, watching the rerun of my life in my mind’s theatre. Intrigued and filled with wonder, I lost count of how many times I had become a new me. Each transformation began in a unique, uncharted, previously unexplored territory of ME.
I’ve Never Been This Me Before
TM Catalyst TM Academy
When I allowed myself the time to pause, to rewind and reflect on each of the different Isabel’s I have been, it surprised me to observe the distinct characters I created, developed, nurtured, embraced, struggled with, disliked, worried over, cried with, neglected, liked, and loved. Sadly, I realized there were so many times I did not appreciate who I truly was. As the leading lady of the performance known as My Life, I was too deeply immersed in my role to notice my view was obstructed. My ultra-close-up perspective focused on imperfections and missed cues. I scrutinized my life in a magnification mirror and focused on the flaws, not the beauty. Too often I criticized, sacrificed and “should” on myself. Not as often, did I love myself and marvel at the beautiful being I was. “Doing” overtook “being” as I shouldered responsibilities, cared for others, and never felt I quite measured up to a self-inflicted goal of elusive perfection. Work harder, be smarter, earn more, volunteer more, get thinner, act older, look younger, stay married, stay single, give more, play less, be a better businesswoman, friend, mother, wife, daughter, everything-to-everyone. Now, through the 3-D lens of awareness and replayed episodes from my life, I see things I didn’t notice before. Like watching your favorite movie, over and over, each time you hear new dialogue, notice different scenery, appreciate the nuances and complexity of the characters, and fall in love a little deeper with the heroine. We have been students, wives, parents, employees, caretakers, entrepreneurs, and more. Dutifully, we stuck to our assigned roles, played out the parts others chose for us until time and circumstances have brought these roles to an end.
End? End of the road? Or . . . are we simply turning a corner? What road are you on now? Can you look in the rear-view mirror and appreciate the distance you’ve covered from one stage of your life to the next? Have you thought of pulling into a rest stop and taking a breather to reflect on your trip so far? Have you acknowledged the milestones of your life’s journey that mark your growth, development and transition to the next and best part of your orbits around the sun? How do you know that you will like where you end up? During the period of my life that I felt the most off course, wandering without a purposeful destination, I often felt hopeless and lost. Fortunately, I figured out how to map my way forward and I navigated my way back to the path I needed to take. I created my own process to plot my trip based on landmarks, strengths and resources and by recalculating routes that did not take me to the happy place that I desire. I learned how to reset my compass that was stuck on who I was. If you are a fellow traveller on the road to discovering Who You are Now and Who You are Next, I’ve prepared a trip plan for you so that you can enjoy the scenery along the way. Before you head out on to the highway of the next phase of your life, fill your tank, download your play list and read what I share in Standing Ovations.
I am so happy to share with you what I learned about arriving at my destiny versus the journey. Signal on! Will you go right or left? It’s your choice to shift gears and head off on a new road. Whatever your path, enjoy the scenery. I certainly plan to. Morgan Freeman and I are about to start a wonderful adventure together! In the driver’s seat,
Excerpt from the book: “Who Am I Now? Feminine WisdomUnmasked Uncensored”
© 2021 The Encore Catalyst